Druscilla (She/They):
I
understand that people who have experienced harm often don't want to
re-traumatize themselves by talking about it, but as a response to
people publicly bringing up these kinds of experiences with Thadeaus, I
have reached out in multiple ways for almost a decade and no one has
been willing to speak to me about the issues they have experienced
directly with him.
I
have had a long meeting (back in 2011 or 2012) with a representative of
support New York about their activities concerning Thadeaus (they still
run a legacy website but do not do active work anymore). A Support New
York member did speak to me on behalf of Thadeaus’s ex-partner, who is
also a Support New York organizer / representative.
In
Our Hearts has tried to do our best to support Thadeaus taking steps
towards accountability without any direct information from those he may
have harmed.
He
has been open to talking about this stuff with me and learning from it.
People who consider themselves part of In Our Hearts are dedicated to
each other too, and do want to help out our friend to learn from the
past and grow beyond it. We’ve had a series of accountability meetings
with him in the past and he often brings up this topic with us for
support.
Nobody
is perfect, not even a successful organizer. Like all humans, Thadeaus
is not *always* as responsive to these matters as would be ideal,
especially on-demand in a public forum. Sometimes it is disappointing;
but that's part of the ups and downs of long-term friendship. Despite
this, Thadeaus has been able to be open with his friends and collective
members about our questions and concerns about his past and present
relationships, and continues to be reflective with us about these
topics. We don’t feel like we are harming the community or harboring a
perpetrator of abuse by letting him work on our projects. Indeed, our
projects are better because he is a part of our work.
I
have known Thadeaus for a little over a year now, and during that time
we have become good friends. I wrote my impressions of him before I
began working with A New World In Our Hearts, a network with which he is
involved, and I would like to share those, as well as an update now
that I have had a chance to become more familiar with him as well as his
detractors.
September 2011:
While I have only known Thadeaus in the period of time after the
allegations and accusations were made, I can sincerely say that he has
been a good friend to me: welcoming, thoughtful, helpful, concerned,
sympathetic, and fun. While I am not a member of the anarchist or
activist scene in New York City, Thadeaus and I often see each other at
the bi-monthly GRUB freegan community dinners that he co-organizes and
helps run. During these times, I see a passionate individual doing
what he can to make an impossibly large community closer together in
ways that align with his values and principles. At these get-togethers,
Thadeaus never seems power-hungry, attention grabbing, or predatory.
He often hangs back in social situations in order to have more intimate
personal conversations with close friends, even while he seeks out new
faces at GRUB in an inviting manner that makes people want to come
back. Of course, possibly because I am not a part of this scene, I have
also been very impressed by the method of living Thadeaus undertakes.
It takes perseverance and dedication to live in this city in this
manner, and it often inspires me to be more passionate in my own life
about what I think is important. It is difficult to imagine Thadeaus in
any role but collected and deliberate, and it seems that any
complaints stem from a grain of truth from youthful past-relationship
bickering that is decidedly over.
As someone who has been in abusive relationships in the past (and
no longer), I am quite sensitive to physical, emotional, and sexual
slights. I have only seen Thadeaus be most respectful towards ALL
people, including women, and including me. In various types of social
situations, he is always thoughtful, respectful, and delightful.
May 2012:
In
the past 8 months, empowered by those I have gotten to know within the
occupy movement, I actually have joined into the activist and
anarchist scene that I spoke of from the outside previously. Working on
community projects and attending events, I have been able to get to
know Thadeaus in a more serious setting.
As I review the various bits of gossip and serious issues people
who have been close to him in the past bring up, I notice that a common
thread throughout them all is his stubbornness. This stubbornness
manifests itself in good ways, such as the "perseverance and
dedication" that I mentioned above, yet has also caused much of the
trouble with which our community now must deal. I have recently seen
him taking responsibility for the way this affects others in a sincere
attempt at healing the community, through a series of accountability
meetings, personal discussions, therapy, and this website. With this
website he is taking responsibility for correcting the false
accusations made against him as well. Thadeaus has said that he is
willing to discuss any and all matters in an open meeting facilitated
by a true third party, which I hope to have agreed upon by all those
involved.